Thursday, January 21, 2010

Steven's Basic Guidelines to Life

In every game, one must follow a set of rules in order to compete and complete. In life, these people also follow their own moral guidelines and laws they've set out for themselves. I've decided to compile a list of rules I live by. Some are conventional, while others tend to be slightly unorthodox.

Steven's Rules:

1. If a woman asks me to buy her a drink, I will NOT buy her one, even if I was previously considering it.

2. If a woman TELLS me to buy her a drink..."FUCK YOU!"

3. If you have nothing nice to say to me, then go ahead and tell me the bad things. I'd much rather hear it straight from you than through someone else.

4. I prefer stairs over elevators.

5. I roll my windows down in my car whenever possible, before I even consider turning on the A/C.

6. Quality over quantity.

7. I'll listen to your opinion without interrupting. Then, when voicing my opinion, everytime I'm interrupted, I'll start back and the top again and speak slower each time until I finish.

8. If there are two people and one seat, I'll stand.

9. I use proper grammar and spelling. It's not that I want to look smart or smarter than others, I just don't want to look stupid and unreadable.

10. I hold doors open for people.

11. I NEED to try everything at least once.

12. If I'm arguing a topic, I search for facts to justify my statements.

13. Is not an unlucky number. It's the abbreviation for a banana, split.

14. Is really 13, if you know what I mean.

15. I try not to spread word of someone else's news (this is what is referred to as "gossip"). A rumor, to me, is like a big game of Telephone that no one knows they're playing.

16. If asked something, whether it's advice or an opinion on a topic or subject, I try to give the most unbiased response possible.

17. I have no problem voicing what I think.

18. I will never pay more than $50 for a polo shirt.

19. I will never pop my collar, unless I'm being ironic.

20. I tend to look at myself as if I was another person. That way, if I start to see something I'm doing that I would normally find annoying or aggitating if someone else was doing it, I can stop immediately before I make a fool of myself. (kind of like this list...I'm almost done.)

34. Will always remain Rule 34.

35. Rules 21 - 33 were irrelevent.


37. There is always room for adaptation. That's why Rule 36 is blank.

38. I don't live everyday like I'm going to die tomorrow. I live everyday like I'm going to live forever. After my body has decayed into something that is totally unrecognizable as a human figure anymore, I'll still be remembered. If I lived everyday like I'm going to die tomorrow, I'd be a total prick! I want to be known as a great person.